7 Steps to take the Stress out of Homework
Homework is at best a chore for most children and, unless they
are very committed, They find homework difficult, often because
they are not motivated. Consider the following questions.
When your child does homework to what degree is he or she
comfortable, focused and relaxed or is doing homework a battle
and a struggle every night?
If so:
Do you have to give homework help regularly?
Have you spoken to his or her teachers?
Have you tried gentle pep talks?
Do you resort to harsh reprimands?
Rarely will any or these work in isolation and pep talks and
reprimands are the last things you should use as they will
simply build up resistence to school and homework.
The
struggle with homework can, however, be eased by
"re-programming" your childs attitude and approach to
homework.
Here is a seven step approach to curing the homework
struggle:
Step 1. Stop discussing doing homework with your child.
Instead discuss how he or she is approaching homework. As part
of this solution guide your child to step back and really
explore the way they are approaching their studies.
Step 2. Find out what pressure you child is under with regard to
homework. Ask him or her:
Are you worried what your friends will think if you do or don't
do your homework?
Do you find the homework difficult and believe that you are not
clever enough?
Do you enjoy struggling with your homework, or do you want to
end this struggle?
Step 3. Discuss their answers openly.
Never dismiss their opinions or feelings - even if you strongly
disagree with them. These feeling are theirs and are valid
whatever you think. Dismissing them only reinforces them.
Step 4. Acknowledge that homework is not easy.
Show your child that resisting it makes it a bigger problem and
creates an obstacle to enjoying the rest of their free time.
When you change their negative attitude they will work more
positively and creatively and with less pressure. Positively
approaching homework gets it out of the way quicker and removes
the stress.
Step 5. Make yourself available as a tutor:
Offer assistance on how to approach problems but don't give the
answers. If you don't know something say so and work with them
so you learn. Praise them for the level of work they are
achieving.
Don't be afraid to make yourself look foolish - it provides
motivation for them to see the work is difficult, and when thay
have completed it they get a greater sense of achievement.
Step 6. "Reprogramming" should be done while your child is doing
homework, but not when there is any time pressure.
They should be able to stop and start the studying many times to
discuss any problems. Initially try it at the weekend but not
when they are rushing to go out.
Don't introduce it as a special time. Your child should just
regard it as a normal homework session. You should, talk to them
and focus on their resistance to homework. It may not work
immediately. It is a process and eventually they will drop or
reduce their resistance and find a more positive attitude
towards their homework.
Step 7. Be aware that "getting work done" is not the main focus
of your time using this approach.
There willbe many purposeful stops and starts, as you both
explore the best way to approach homework.Let your child express
his or her feelings.