Jealousy In Relationships
This is a common theme that is discussed by those who are in
love, or by their friends. Why does one feel jealous? Is the
relationship weak? If the relationship is strong, should one
feel jealous at all? Or it is one's genes? I mean, if I am very
sure that I love a girl and I am totally committed to her, and I
believe that she is equally in love with me, why should I feel
jealous? Or why should she feel jealous? But jealousy is a fact
of life. Let us examine more of jealousy.
Let us take a simple example. Say, your child loves one of your
neighbors and she is equally attentive to him/her. Would you
feel jealous of that or proud about that? Would you try to take
away your child from the neighbor? Would you confront the
neighbor? You may do nothing like this, if I am not wrong in my
analysis. But what if your child is replaced by your
spouse/girlfriend/boyfriend? Your reaction may be entirely
different. If yes, why? What is the difference in both the
situations? Our reactions change like the changing seasons. Our emotions can be driven as easily as the
these autumn leaves.
The main difference is faith. You have total faith that your
child may run around and play with many people around the day.
But he/she will return to you at night, or if hungry, or if
injured? Am I correct? You don't have the same faith with your
lover/spouse. And that is the main cause of jealousy. Somewhere
in your mind, you are always wondering about your looks, your
intelligence, your relationship skills and all other factors
that may break your relationship and make your spouse/lover go
into another relationship.
Can any relationship that is based on such slippery thoughts be
a happy relationship? Can it survive long without problems? No.
The best way out is to discuss without hesitation everything in
your mind with your spouse/lover and expose all your fears. Be
totally open. Try to find out all that is in the mind of your
partner in the same way. Discuss everything and decide that come
what may, your relationship is here to stay. Give that
commitment and take that commitment in return. And enjoy life
forever without bothering about jealousy. If after all the
discussion, both of you come to a conclusion that the commitment
is not strong for each other, make a clean break. We cannot sail
in a boat in the deep seas, and try to enjoy sailing, while
constantly getting worried about the sea worthiness of the boat.
Am I correct? We should begin sailing only after making sure
about the boat first. Jealousy mainly comes in our mind because
we are not sure of the love and commitment. Take care of that to
live a happy life.