Have I Been Replaced?
Hi I was wondering if you could give me some feedback on this
situation I find myself in. I'm a 30 year old guy with 2
children, both under 10. I have been with my wife twelve years.
She cheated on me when we first got together (I was 19) with an
ex-boyfriend. We already had a 1-year-old child by that time, so
I forgave her.
She always wanted to go out and party with her friends as she
was also only 19. I said no but she ignored me and would go out
anyway. I finally left for two weeks but she wanted to talk and
asked me to come back (actually, she threaten me with killing
herself) so I agreed only to find out that she had slept with
someone else while I was gone. This took a few years to finally
calm down.
After that she didn't go out again until about 2 years ago when
I went to university and thought we had built up trust again.
She would go out with her friends from work, while I would sit
at home with the children worrying. She would often come home
and blatantly state how men were dancing with her and how they
had kissed her but it meant nothing and excused it away as her
just being flirty. She said loved me and would never jeopardize
the marriage.
Over Christmas she went out with a friend to a local pub and
told me the day after that she had slept with someone and that
she didn't know why. All she could say was you were to busy with
your work, but she wanted to sort it out. We have been arguing
about it up until last week when she says that she wants a fresh
start and asked me to leave.
I saw my kids last Sunday and she was very cold. Monday I
received a text message saying she was seeing a guy I knew from
the local pub and moved him into our house. I went and tried to
talk to her and was told to go away in no uncertain terms. This
guy has moved in 3 days after me leaving!
I was just wandering what's going on here? Any insight could
help greatly.
Hello!
Here's what's going on: you're a pussy. You allow any damn thing
your cheating, abusive wife wants and now she finally got
totally fed up with it and has decided to move on with her life.
Only NOW are you asking for advice?
After 11 years of this what do you expect? You let her go out on
her own, partying, dancing, cavorting and having any tryst she
wants to have with any guy that is in the same 100 meters of
her. She cheats and then throws it in your face because she
knows you'll just take it. You constantly take her back and when
she doesn't seem like she wants that, you beg.
What kind of example do you think you're setting for your
children? Yes, she is too, but she didn't write to me - you did.
I know that you didn't expect me to have me pound on you, but
frankly, nobody else has, and that's exactly what you need right
now. Your wife has been asking (begging, really) for you to
stand up and be the man in the house; to take control, tell her
and the family how things are going to be and to stop just
putting up with it. What have you done? You've given in to
everything and anything she wants and now you're surprised that
she has found some new guy (that she hopes will be the man you
haven't been) and has replaced you both in your own house and in
the eyes of your children.
My brother, you're headed straight for a divorce. The UK isn't
any kinder to fathers than the US is, and you'd better see this
coming right now. What you do over the next few days is going to
be the deciding factor here. I strongly urge you to seek a good
divorce lawyer right now - don't be blindsided by this - be
proactive instead. (Don't be surprised if empties the bank
accounts next.) Then, talk to your attorney and plan to file.
Right now, you have some clothes and she has EVERYTHING ELSE.
The court isn't likely to make her give you any of it, nor are
they going to insure you even get to see the kids, so you need
to fight for what is yours.
For once in your married life, please get some backbone and
handle this! If you don't, she's going to handle it for you and
you're not going to come out even - trust me on this!
Best regards...