ASK ZANNAH... Lets Hold on to What We've Got!

I've Got the Guy...But How Do I Keep Him?

Dear Zannah,

I 've read your book, attended your seminars and believe it or not I have had great success in finding the LOVES of my life as a result of figuring out how to recognize them. The only problem I am having now is knowing how to keep that magnetic attraction in check so they want to stay long term. I guess what I need to know is how do I keep him once I find him? The guy I am seeing is pretty passive because of his style and I love it but I find that sometimes he is affected by my dialogue. I don't want to be too pushy as I am the more active of the two of us. Can you help me?

Marjorie
Oakland

Dear Marjorie

You actually sound like a great match. I do, however, know where conflict can occur if YOU don't move quick enough. I'm going to have to guess here a little bit because I don't know specifics about your energy centers and such but I have a good sense of both of your styles. That being the case, you will have a tendency to download verbally and this can be a bit overwhelming for him. Save it for your girlfriends and for those moments when he is his MOST alert. Remember men carry a pad of post it notes and women carry a notebook when it comes to the relationship. His will fill up quickly and with a passive type, he is only going to be receptive when he is in his most active passive state. The other thing that you need to remember is to manage the appetite of the relationship wisely. Women tend to starve it or overfeed it. It is always good to be a little hungry so that you appreciate the time you have together. If you sense you are getting complacent, spend less time together and vice versa. Also, allow him to call you. It means he's thinking of you, making time for you and missing you versus feeling interrupted. These small considerations can make for an incredible relationship AND they are very easy to do. Relationships that are compatible and attractive only fail when the woman forgets how to manage the relationship. Do these three things and I guarantee you, he will be around indefinitely. For many reasons they just make us irresistible. I also suggest you take the full seminar where we teach you how to move in a relationship so that magnetic attraction always stays in check. Sounds like you have the fundamentals down though. Good job!

Thoughtfully,
Zannah


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Zannah Hackett Rev,BAE,MA is today