So, you've done it. You've built up the courage and finally approach the woman in one of the approved venues listed by the dating experts. You say "Hi" and she says "Hi" in return. You get into conversation, but somewhere along, you begin to suspect she's losing interest. Her gaze flickers beyond you more and often. She begins to look at her watch. By the time you get to the point where you want to take it further - ask for her email or phone number, your gut knows she's either going to give you the wrong one or smile sweetly and say, "I don't think my boyfriend would like that."

Or take the opposite case. You're a woman in conversation with a fairly decent sort of guy, and you're hoping to get to know him better. But he soon begins to show signs that he'd rather be somewhere else and before you know it, he's gone.

So what went wrong? Assuming you're "normal" and haven't frightened your chat-mate off by talking about your collection of tarantulas, the problem may lie with your voice.

Humans react viscerally to voice and it is one of the important ways by which we evaluate people. We automatically "tune out" high-pitched, whiny voices and respond positively to gracious, congenial ones.

Here are a couple of tips to enamour the opposite sex with your voice:

Keep it warm and friendly

A soft, yet clearly audible, low-pitched voice radiates confidence and warmth. This works for women as well as men. As a woman, you might believe that men like girlish, high-pitched voices, but that works for just a few minutes. After that, the man begins to wonder if this needy-sounding female is going to be asking him to buy baubles for her all the time.

If you're a man, a high-pitched voice can be disastrous. It sounds nervous and unsure and makes the woman wonder if you're ever going to grow up.

Don't be fooled by celebrities who seem to be able to carry off high-pitched voices as come-hither tools. Those are exceptions rather than the rule and it takes a great deal of expertise to carry off a high-pitched mechanism of seduction.

Be clear but not "elocutive"

People tend to go to one of two extremes where clarity is concerned. They either sound like they're talking through several blankets or they appear to be addressing a panel of judges at a debate.

If you aren't opening your mouth enough when you speak, the object of your attention is going to have to strain to make out what you say. After a while, the strain gets to be too much and your "audience of one" tunes out.

If, on the other hand, your every word is crystal clear, you're going to come off as a schoolteacher and your potential date is going to be wondering when you're going to rap on the table to call for silence.

And finally...

Strive for the natural voice. No forced clarity. No attempt to be overly deep or "radio-voiced". Be expressive, but not clownish.

Then ask for the phone number.

Copyright (c) Deepak Morris, 2005

The author runs a unique course on voice development. Check his blog for more tips: http://thegoldenvoice.blogspot.com