Extreme phobias or fears can be a life-limiting experience. They can exclude you from events or situations where you may have to face the problem, or cause you shame and embarrassment because you're not strong enough to overcome it.

Spider phobias are one of the most common and are often associated with women and joked about. However, the feeling of sheer terror is no joke, particularly when you consider the strain this puts the body under both physically and mentally.

Phobias are different from fear. A phobia means you cannot face or do something. If you have a phobia of lifts, for example, you will always take the stairs and never use a lift. If you have a fear of lifts, on the other hand, you can force yourself to use the lift to save having to admit to the fear or feeling embarrassed or climbing 50 flights of stairs. But the stress or panic you feel can be tremendous.

When we feel fearful, our focus is on avoiding that fear. In the case of spiders, many people report having more spiders than anyone else. This generally isn't the case. It's more to do with the person's focus on looking for spiders in order to avoid them. If you go looking for spiders, you'll probably find them. If you're not bothered by spiders, you're unlikely to go looking for them and therefore won't find any!

So where do fears and phobias come from? How do we become phobic or fearful? Sometimes it's clear: for example, a turbulent plane journey can lead to a fear/phobia of flying. At other times it's not so clear. You can pick up a phobia/fear from seeing someone else's reaction to a particular situation - particularly common are children who follow their parents' example. Even something on TV or the radio seen or heard at a time when the body is at a low can cause a reaction. There is also speculation that fear can be picked up by an unborn child.

Wherever it comes from, the person with the fear/phobia can experience intense feelings of stress, anxiety, terror and nausea when faced with the threat.

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