Spouses are either growing closer or growing apart.

That's the bottome line. You don't get to stand still in relationships for very long.

How to re-connect

I've read a lot of either complicated or mushy stuff about how to reconnect if you have grown apart. I like practical, useable stuff, so here is a simple, practical idea:

Have a conversation about when the two of you were the closest and felt the most connected. What was happening then? What were you thinking about? What were you focusing on?

Amd what I think is the most powerful and useable question:

When you felt the closest and most connected, what were you doing? Then make a list of the things you did when you felt the most connected.

Now here's the rocket science part - pick a few of the things you did when you were the closest, and then do them again.

How to stay connected

Once you get reconnected, you want to stay connected.

So we need to know two things:

1. What does it take to continue to feel connected to my spouse?

2. What does it take for my spouse to continue to feel connected to me?

Do regular maintenance on your relationship connection to make sure you are doing the things consistently that each of you need to stay connected.

Visit SecretsofGreatRelationships.com for tips and tools for creating and growing a great relationship. You can also subscribe to our f*r*e*e 10 day e-program on how to enrich your relationship today, from relationship coach and expert Jeff Herring.