Several years ago there was a commercial for Dodge trucks that had two rams on a mountain banging their heads together. The slogan was "Dodge trucks are ram tough."

Even though the rams had horns on their heads to bang together, it sure did look like it hurt a lot.

It was a good metaphor for what happens when parents and teens get into ongoing power struggles. They bang their heads together and it hurts.

Once you enter into a power struggle with a teen, you have already lost it.

When parents and teens get caught up in a power struggle, no one wins.

Now that does not mean that as a parent you back off completely and let them do whatever they want.

You do have to pick your battles however. One of the things that contributes to an atmosphere ripe for power struggles is turing every issue into a battle.

For parents, not every issues needs to be a battle for control. For teens, not every issue needs to be a battle for independence.

It's the parents job to not get hooked into each and every power struggle.

Remember the closing line of the movie War Games:

"Interesting game . . . the only winning move is not to play."

Visit ParentingYourTeenager.com for tips and tools for thriving during the teen years. You can also subscribe to our f*r*e*e 5 day e-program on The Top 5 Things to Never Say to Your Teenager, from parenting coach and expert Jeff Herring.