Living under the same roof can mean tense times, no matter how great your relationship is. How to survive those days when everything he says gets on your nerves? How to deal with her constant complaining? Less talk, more action. Next time the kettle's about to boil over, try one of these six ways to diffuse the tension before it makes you blurt things you'll regret about the one you love.

1. Spend some time apart.

Many couples get into the habit of doing everything together. This is "cute" in the courtship days, but what about those hobbies and interests you used to have before your partner entered the picture? Feeling "boxed in" may be a sign that it's time for some you-time, for both of you. Join a new club, play a sport, take up a hobby that you enjoy. When you reconverge with your partner, you may just feel refreshed, renewed, and imagine this - you'll have new stories to share with each other.

2. Tackle a task together.

Put a lid on the incessant quibbling or nitpicking, get together and tackle a task. Split the household chores, paint the livingroom, clean out the garage or divide the yard work between the two of you. Examples: she digs the new flower beds, you rake the leaves... you paint the walls, she does the trim. Cooperation gets the job done faster and will get the two of you working together instead of against each other -- and that's a great feeling!

3. Satisfy those animal urges.

Is he getting you hot under the collar again? It's natural for the testosterone and estrogen to clash; that's what attracted you to each other in the first place. Instead of getting into yet another unproductive conversation, why not do it like you did in the old days. Put the moves on and ease that tension the healthy and fun way... between the sheets! Yes, a good roll in the sack has a way of turning those relationship mountains back into the molehillls they really are. I dare you to try to nag your spouse right after sex. Sorry, but you can't do it!

4. Take a hike.

Whether you decide to hit the pavement together or opt for separate exercise routines, there's no denying that being active will put the both of you in better spirits and curb those lashing tongues. Do you want to be two slovenly porkers, grumpy and bloated, taking digs at each other every chance you get? Of course you don't! Getting in shape will help your bodies start functioning at peak performance again, and you might even start looking better too. Now that's attractive!

5. Road trip.

When was the last time you got in the car and just went? Jump in, turn up the radio and head someplace you've never been before. Even if it's only an hour away, a change of scenery will be invigorating and put you in a positive frame of mind. If you don't have time to roam far, remember that something interesting is probably happening right in your town. Visit a historic landmark, hit an outdoor concert, go apple-picking, check out downtown Cruise Night, watch the local kids play soccer. A great way to stop harping on each other is to simply get out of the house.

Despite what the experts say, communication isn't alway the solution to couple issues. Stop talking, get off your duffs, and start DOING. You may just find that once you're back in action, you're getting more action. And isn't that what it's all about?

Copyright 2005 Dina Giolitto. All rights reserved.

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