Ordinarily we think of gossip and rumor-spreading as a negative network of lies and false assumptions that destroys reputations and ruins careers, but did you know that you can use gossip to your advantage when trying to create rapport and build trust with someone? Yes, its true. Use that very same negative network to make yourself appear more likable to another person.

The Underlying Psychological Mechanisms Involved

The American Psychologist Abraham Maslow came up with a 5-layered system of human needs that motivates people in life. One of those layers of need is the need for self-esteem and the sense of belonging. As human beings, we not only need to feel good about ourselves, but we also require confirmation and feedback from others on how they perceive us. Negative feedback poses a risk to our own self-esteem and therefore it creates conflict because we strive to protect our self-esteem. Positive feedback, in the form of compliments or respect, boosts our level of self-esteem and we tend to gravitate towards that positive feedback.

So All I Have To Do Is Start Complimenting People I Like?

Well