I used to think that once saved, I would always be saved. This in part because of the scripture in Romans 8:38 Where Paul makes the statement: ("For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord"). I believed that by Paul making these statements, he was saying I would always be loved AND saved.

What changed my mind?

On October 25, 2002, I gave birth to a stillborn child at full term. During the following months (during my grieving period) after spending several hours in non-stop prayer about the situation, The Lord took me back (in my mind) to the day I was in the hospital holding the lifeless child in my arms.

He revealed to me: The way I felt for this lifeless child, was the same way He felt for us (his children), how did I feel about this child? I still had an overwhelming love for her.

During this prayer, (I call it a prayer, but it was more like: I was flat on my face sobbing to the point I couldn't speak) So in my spirit I poured my heart out to God and told him:

"God, when I whispered in the baby's ears, she couldn't hear me. When I spoke the words "I love you", she never turned her head to acknowledge me. She never opened her eyes to see me. I have accumulated everything a baby needs to survive- food, clothes, shelter, toys, etc., but this means nothing right now because I will not be able to take her home with me.