An inspiring article which looks at overcoming the biggest causes of relationship upheaval; judgments and competitiveness. The solution is offered on what we can do in relationships that matter to us that will overcome these poisonous habits.
Our culture is based on competition. We compete for grades at school, in sporting events, through job interviews, and for promotions at work. In many cases, competition drives excellence. Judging, measuring, and grading others against a set of standards assists in screening and simplifies decision making.
On the flip side, competition wreaks havoc when we unwittingly use it in relationships we want to build. Competition and judgment can cause anxiety and fear of failure. Competition can stunt creativity by actually limiting the amount of risk someone is willing to take because they are driven by avoiding mistakes.
In the book, The Art of Possibility, co-author and orchestra conductor/teacher, Benjamin Zander, describes how he took the principle of competition and turned it on its ear by a process termed,