Pay Attention!

One of the biggest complaints women have about men is that they just don't listen. This can cause big problems in the relationship. Sure, you may hear the words, but are you really absorbing what she is saying? It's a serious mistake not to pay attention or take her words seriously and could mean the ultimate failure of the relationship if that bad habit continues.

Women don't just talk to hear their own voices. Most times they're trying to get a point across to you. Listen...I mean really listen to what they're telling you. Granted, sometimes it may seem as if she doesn't have anything of real importance to say, and in your opinion, she's just babbling on about nothing. But you'd better listen anyway.

If your mind is wandering or you interrupt her with a comment about something totally unrelated to what she's talking about, she'll feel you simply don't care about her and this can lead to hurt feelings and resentment on her part. Over time, this can seriously damage the relationship or cause its demise. You should never dismiss what a woman has to say as trivial or ignore her. Don't just hear the words -- absorb them like a sponge.

Sometimes a woman may feel the need to vent her feelings if she's upset or frustrated about something in her life. It may or may not have anything to do with you personally, but you are her sounding board. She'll likely ask you later what you think, so you better be paying attention so your answer makes sense and relates to the subject at hand. If you've been tuning her out, your inattention will likely anger her, cause hurt feelings and resentment, and make her feel unimportant to you.

Show her you're interested in what she has to say. Ask her pertinent questions and listen to her answers. Sympathize with her and show her you understand how she's feeling. To maintain a strong relationship with her, you must be her best friend and allow her to feel free to communicate with you about anything. Women are more verbal than men. She needs to know you care enough about her to listen when she speaks.

Think about would you feel if you were telling her about an important event in your life and she interrupts with, "I saw the cutest dress today that would match my new shoes just perfectly." How would you feel? You'd probably be taken aback and think she couldn't care less about what you were saying to her. It wouldn't make you feel very important to her, would it? Of course it wouldn't.

Mutual respect is listening to one another and caring about one another's thoughts, feelings, wants, and needs. It's taking into consideration the feelings of the other person as well as your own feelings, particularly when making decisions that affect both of you. It's just that simple.

There is nothing so frustrating to a woman than when she is pouring out her heart and soul to you only to realize you haven't been listening at all. Whenever a woman begins a conversation with, "We need to talk" or "I want to talk to you"'s time to tune out everything else going on in your brain and listen to every word she says. Those two phrases are an indication she's about to say something important and you need to pay attention.

Learning to listen is a big part of communication. The ability to communicate is a very important part of every relationship and that skill will serve you well in many aspects of life. Mastering the art of communication is vital to your relationships with women.

Copyright 2005 Deborah Willis All Rights Reserved

About the Author

Deborah Willis is the author of ATTRACT WOMEN -- The Average Man's Guide to Attracting, Dating, Loving, and Maintaining Relationships with Women. For more advice on relationship skills visit
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