When guests fall asleep after Thanksgiving dinner, we chalk it up to a full belly.

When the cook falls asleep after Thanksgiving dinner, it's for other reasons.

Let's face it. Thanksgiving dinner is a lot of work, especially when you're cooking for a crowd. You're on your feet, you're watching the clock, and it's hard to avoid stressing out over whether the bird will be "done" on time.

Meanwhile, if you have little ones, you're feeling vaguely guilty about not giving them attention.

One year, the preparations for Thanksgiving dinner with my extended family got so hectic that we left the mashed potatoes in a bowl in the oven -- and nobody noticed until after the meal!

No single strategy works for every family, but here's a philosophy that's helped me:

Less cooking, more connecting!

Can the meal be simplified? Check in to see if there's anything you're cooking now that family members wouldn't mind skipping -- at least until later in the weekend.

Can anything be delegated? Maybe your brother-in-law would like to bring the pumpkin pie. You can give him the recipe for "fool-proof pie crust."

Maybe some items can be bought rather than made at home. Cooking ahead and freezing can be another option.

Perhaps the family wouldn't mind eating later in the day, so you can cook at a more leisurely pace. A platter of cheese, crackers, nuts and dried fruits can tide everyone over until the meal is ready.

With the time that's been freed up, we can enjoy family members and friends and focus on appreciation.

We can look at each other, with love and attention.

We can tell each other what we appreciate about each other or about the year that's ending. We can play games, do a craft, tell stories, or sing harvest-related hymns.

We can sit on the floor with any toddlers in the house and join them in viewing the world with imagination and wonder.

And who knows? We might even be able to stay awake after dinner!

Norma Schmidt, M.A., M.Div., helps busy parents create warm, peaceful, inviting homes. To get her free report, "55 Free and Low-Cost Ways to Have the Best Holiday Season Ever," (http://www.ParentCafeOnline.com/pages/47/index.htm), click here.