I faced a challenge when we started a family: my husband, Bill, had no domestic skills. He wanted to share parenting. His flexible hours as an academic allowed him to help at home. But he could barely boil an egg.

Needless to say, our early experience was rocky. We persevered, however, and the fifty-fifty parenting arrangement we worked out with our first child made having our second baby much easier than it would have been otherwise. What follows are tips from our experience and from my reporting on the subject:

*Be sure it's what you want. Sharing parenting involves tradeoffs. As a mom, you don't always get to do things your way. You negotiate childcare issues a lot with your mate, which can be tedious. However you get a real partner and the kids get a hands-on dad. You also understand each other's lives better than when you operate in separate spheres.

*Take a stand. Women usually don't get a fifty-fifty deal unless they push for it. Parenting tasks can be tedious. Many men won