He's Just Not That Into You-Really!

There was a publishing phenomenon that occurred when authors Greg Behrendt & Liz Tuccillo wrote the relationship/dating book - He's Just Not That Into You. Women were reading it like they had no idea. No clue at all.

Hey, I skimmed it in between feeding the kids and an episode of Desperate Housewives - but it all sounds like stuff we've heard before. I mean-- really. Isn't it all common sense?

Do we as women not really know when a man doesn't call us after a date that the guy just wasn't that interested. I think we do. It seems as if we really want to know why? Why isn't he interested. Was it something I said or did? Was it something I was wearing? Is it what I do for a living? Is it because I slept with him too fast or not at all? What is it! We just want to know. If not to fix it with you, then to be prepared for the next man.

If we all weren't so insecure about who we are and the position we play in this world - we wouldn't second guess every move we make. I mean I'm all about trying to improve oneself. Recognizing mistakes. Correcting them. But basically, you are who you are. If the man you just had dinner with wasn't interested enough to come back for more -- then GirlShrink says (respectfully:) PEACE!

Sometimes I think that our parents may have overdid things. They were so focused on boosting our self confidence and self-esteem that we believe that there must be a complicated explanation as to why someone wouldn't be interested in us. I mean you - not interested in me? Huh?

And then of course as I mentioned earlier there are those of us that swear that there are a million things wrong with us and we just want to know which one turned off this man that we were really interested in. We want to know what's wrong with us.

But really...no matter what our background or baggage we bring to the table - it's a concept that we probably need to start teaching our children. Everyone is not going to love you. Everyone is not going to like you. And that's okay.

Do you hear me ladies? That is okay. So here are 5 things to remember...

1. Don't change a thing. You know that you are just fine the way you are.

2. Go out tonight. Get right back on that horse again and be open to meeting more men.

3. Don't hide in the land of DENIAL. Be honest with yourself and move on.

4. Ask for what your worth. Don't settle for someone clearly sending you signals of indifference.

5. Use your common sense. You don't need a book to tell you what your instincts already have!

Lisa Angelettie, M.S.W., is a psychotherapist, author, and an online advice authority. She has been helping people make smarter life choices since 1998. Visit her for Advice & Counseling, take a free Depression Screening, or learn more about her new program - Relationship 911 today at http://www.GirlShrink.com.

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