Outrageous Living: Be Willing to Give Up Something

"One half of knowing what you want is knowing what you must give up before you get it" Sidney Howard

Several months ago a woman in her 50's contacted me for coaching. She was a fan of the Starting Over show with Rhonda Britten and was inspired to hire a coach because of the changes she saw in the women on the show. She wanted her coach to encourage her and give her assignments so she could move past her fear and stop worrying all the time about what others thought of her. However, she was basically uncoachable. In order for coaching to be effective, you must be willing to do something different, see things from another perspective, look at yourself and your circumstances from a new vantage point. Ann was unwilling to do that.

During every coaching call she would hang onto her position, even though she would readily agree that seeing it that way was making her miserable, causing her immense psychological pain, anger, and sadness almost bordering on despair. Each time I would offer a new perspective, a new tool, another way of perceiving the situation, it was rejected outright. She would continue to defend her old position using the disguise of "it's just how I am. You don't understand! That's just the real me."

But it was not the real Ann. The real Ann was hidden behind her wheel of fear. Fear's secret weapon is that it knows you want to be right. And so it will help you gather all the evidence you need to prove that "this is just how you are". Yet I have seen in my own life and in the lives of many of my clients, miraculous changes! We can have happier, healthier relationships when we are willing to see things differently. When we are willing to let go of old, ineffective ways of being. When we are willing to try a different approach to an old problem. When we are ready to let go of our own ego long enough to hear another's point of view. When we are willing to stop making excuses and see ourselves and others as innocent. When we are willing to stop complaining and look for the gift inside the complaint. When we are willing to stop beating ourselves up and start acknowledging ourselves and loving ourselves instead.

What could be possible for you if you did that? What if you decided to let go of the need to be right? What if you made a decision to no longer let your excuses stop you form going for your dreams? What if you replaced all of your complaints by seeing what there is to be grateful for? What if you acknowledged yourself and those around you instead of berating yourself? How much more energy might you have then? What if you did this without knowing where it would lead you?

Miracles can happen when we are willing to give up our old ways of being that are standing in our way of living the life we want! If you want to get started join my life changing Fearbuster Group.

Deb Melton, Singles Coach and Certified Fearless Living Coach lives in Denver and coaches singles all over the country to help them find their soulmate. Deb's philosophy is,