Conversations With My Dog - Who Screwed Up?

Zeus mysteriously materialized in my life a few years ago. He's a very complex, wise-cracking, irreverent dog with some serious attitude. However, he is arguably the most highly evolved being I have ever encountered. His great delight is in turning my world (and yours) inside out and upside down, with the soul purpose of revealing forgotten knowledge. For example:

"Ever wonder how the world got to be so messed up?" Zeus asked.

The question, like most of the curve balls Zeus delights in hurling at me, came completely out of the blue. This time I was washing up a short stack of dishes. Cooking for one and a half doesn't use up much of the dinnerware. "Of course I have. Every time I watch the news or read the papers, or when I meet people in dysfunctional relationships or note the way we pollute the planet. It's all pain and suffering in one form or another. Who doesn't wonder about that?"

"Interesting," Zeus continued, ignoring my answer completely, "a planet of six and a quarter billion people unable to agree on almost anything. They're so attached to their beliefs that they'll fight and defend and die rather than let go of a shred."

"What do you mean by that?"

"Just look at the Middle East. What a hodgepodge that's turning out to be! You can play the polarity game and go along with the talking heads sitting under the tree of wisdom analyzing rights and wrongs. Or, if you choose, you can join me on one of the tree's higher branches and watch the drunken chickens lurching around the barnyard."

"But there's such a thing as right and wrong," I protested. "Someone has to stand up for values."

"Everyone always has," Zeus retorted, "and that's why you guys are waist deep in kimchee. By the way, what makes one thing right and another thing wrong?"

"It's a matter of ethics and morals," I said. "Anyone can tell right from wrong."

"That a fact?" Zeus baited. "You mean like differentiating between black and white?"

"Yes . . . something like that."

"You gotta be my favorite brick," Zeus laughed. "I sometimes think I was assigned to you because if you finally get it, the rest of the world should have no problem. Just for once, how about letting go of your notions about the way things should be and focusing on the way things are? That way you won't be distracted by your misguided boy scout urge to fix what ain't broke.

"Ever notice that by your view of right and wrong the perfect world would be white on white? Sounds kinda boring to me."

"Well," I answered weakly, "I suppose there are shades of gray. Not everything is that clear cut."

"Oh, I see. Sometimes right is wrong and wrong is right?"

"Stop it! You're confusing me."

"Don't be so modest, my little human. It's you who is confusing you. If you would but look, you'd see that from this branch where we're perched, neither right nor wrong actually exists. They're simply artful fabrications that bind believers more securely to their beliefs."

"What's so wrong with beliefs?" I asked. "Without them people have nothing to cling to