Talk to Your Teens About Sex (Even if it Makes You Blush)

Talk to Your Teens About Sex (Even if it Makes You Blush)

Your teens may be sexually active or thinking about it. Teens get most of their sex information from peers and much of it is false. For example, some teens think drinking a can of soda pop before sex prevents pregnancy. How many other falsehoods have they heard?

What's true is that the U.S. has the highest rate of teen pregnancy in the industrialized world.

Teen sexual activity increases as grade level increases. According to a 2003 CDC study, 62% of 12th graders had engaged in sexual intercourse, as compared with 33% of ninth graders. Another study, "Sex and America's Teenagers," conducted in 1994, says teens account for 25% of the STD cases that occur yearly in the U.S.

These are just some of the reasons for talking to your teens about sex. Mayo Clinic experts see sex education as an "ongoing conversation." The conversation is easier, according to Mayo, if you keep things low key, are honest and direct, and try to understand the pressures your teens face. Share these facts with your teens.

* Despite what your friends may say, everyone ISN'T having sex. Friends may talk about sex to sound cool. Talking about sex isn't the same as having it. (American Social Health Association, "Sex on the Brain")

* Abstinence - and that includes not having vaginal, oral, or anal sex - is the only way to prevent STDs. (www.patientcareonline.com)

* Peers who offer you alcohol and/or drugs may do it to make you have sex. So be alert. Your drink may contain "roofies," another name for the date rape drug. (American Social Health Association, "Sex on the Brain")

* ALWAYS use a condom if you're sexually active. Some 17% of sexually active females ages 15-19, and 9% of sexually active males ages 15-19, didn't use a condom the last time they had sex. These teens are risking pregnancy and STDs. (Kaiser Family Foundation, "U.S. Teen Sexual Activity")

* If you've had unprotected sex just once you can get pregnant or STDs. Some STDs can be cured, but others, such as genital herpes, genital warts and HIV/AIDS can't. (U.S. Dept. of Health and Human Services, "Teen Talk")

* Birth control pills DON'T protect you against STDs. (U.S. Department of Health & Human Services, "Teen Talk")

* Despite what you may have heard, oral and anal sex is REAL sex. Neither is risk-free. (www.patientcareonline.com)

* Nobody - and that means you - has to "pay back" a pricy date or gift with sex. Instead of sex you can show you care by holding hands, kissing, hugging, taking a walk, and listening to music. (American Social Health Association, "Sex on the Brain" and www.MayoClinic.com)

Ask your kids to come to you if they have questions about sex and/or sexual feelings. Tell them that you will answer their questions honestly and best you can, even if you blush while doing it.

Harriet Hodgson has been a nonfiction writer for 27 years and is a member of the Association of Health Care Journalists. Her 24th book "Smiling Through Your Tears: Anticipating Grief," written with Lois Krahn, MD, is available from http://www.amazon.com. A five-star review of the book is also posted on Amazon.