First Expressions

By the very nature of the language a 'first impression' is normally seen to be either your or the person you are meetings' first chance to impress. Human beings will decide what they think of someone within the first few seconds of meeting. This being the case I like to use the alternative terminology of 'first expression' as impressing may not be high on your agenda but expressing who you are might well be more relevant.

So, how quickly do you make up your mind about someone? Is it when you have a long conversation? Is it when you are introduced? Is it when you first make eye contact? No, for most people a great many opinions are formed when you first look at someone. How many times have you 'decided' someone's personality as they walked into a room? And how many times have you later been proved wrong? Or right? We don't always have the luxury of enough time to spend correcting other peoples mistaken beliefs about us - wouldn't it be better to portray a truer expression of who we are in the first place?

How about if when going into a meeting/date/social situation we took the time out to consider which version of ourselves we wanted people to meet on that occasion? By this I don't mean acting a role or pretending to be something different to what we are but simply drawing on the most appropriate aspects to our personalities for the situation in hand. We all have many different characteristics and traits which go to make up our whole beings - it's simply a question of thinking which part of your personality you would like the people you are meeting to remember the most.

If you were being interviewed for a job that required you to be responsible and mature even in serious situations would you turn up for interview in a clowns outfit complete with big shoes and squirty flower? An extreme example I know but at to lesser degree these are the sorts of decisions we make every time we meet someone new. It really doesn't matter if you are addressing a conference of 100 people or just placing an order at the paper shop it is equally important that you leave the person/people with the idea of you that you would like them to see.

It's all about habits. Get into the habit of asking yourself before you interact with people which parts of you would be best for them to be familiar with. What is appropriate for me to wear in this situation? This simple way of thinking is very valuable when it comes to those times when you may feel a little less confident - if you feel you are presenting the right image you can't help but feel better in general about yourself. The more you play with this the easier it gets. Sometimes it may not feel as if it matters but you never know when that person in the queue behind you could become important in your life......

Mark Spall is a Coach and Leadership trainer and delivers his materials through a variety of innovative mediums. More on Mark can be found at http://www.markspall.co.uk. Mark is the founder of the Agile Leader Network (http://www.agile-leader.com), a knowledge base and support network for young people who wish to achieve their best in their careers and their businesses.