"We are responsible for everything in our lives, including how the chemistry in our bodies works or doesn't work." Wayne Dyer's words hit me like a bolt of lightening as I listened to his taped book, You'll See It When You Believe It.

Throughout the years, I had suffered tremendously with bouts of allergies and asthma; it wasn't until that moment that I had a confirmation I could eliminate my allergy problems. The asthma attacks had been under control since leaving the mid west where I was born and raised. This move eliminated contact with cattle hair and grain dust and other pollens indigenous to the area, which I had extreme allergic reactions with.

I often spoke, to anyone who would listen, about how the mind heals the body or allows the body to become ill. This knowledge was based on my thoughts, reading and research. As I spoke about my 'belief/knowledge' my bouts with allergies hung heavy in my mind. In all of my reading, nothing clicked as a solution until that moment in September 1989. I was 47 years old. As I had learned while studying transactional analysis, Dr. Dyer, also, held the premise: "We are responsible for everything in our lives." "OK, Wayne," I said, "I agree. Now what? How can I take responsibility for the chemistry in my body when my immune system is damaged? My immune system contains chemicals," I reminded myself. "I am responsible for those chemicals doing their job. What am I doing or not doing that is responsible for the chemicals not doing their job?" I asked myself fervently.

A few days later I began, in earnest, to be a detective. I revisited myself as an infant in the crib. With much satisfaction and pride, my father has told the story that he knew how to quiet a howling infant. With his hand, big and muscular from working as a cattle rancher, he 'patted my back with three or four hard, quick pats, 'You,' he proudly announced, 'stopped howling. You seemed to like it,' he concluded, 'because you always stopped howling.'

My father was physically abused as a child, and he carried the legacy into his parenting. He did not consider the 'hard quick pats' on my tiny back as abusive, nor would anyone necessarily consider either of us as abused at the time of our upbringings; some people would not consider it abuse today. In the days of my father's childhood, and those of my own, this type of behavior with a child was viewed as stringent discipline for a child obviously needing corrective action. However, with certainty, my abuse began when I was an infant in the bassinet. As I revisited my infancy and childhood, no new memories came forth. This was frustrating. I had not found any new clues. "Chemicals. I am responsible for my chemicals. How can I take responsibility for those chemicals?" The answer seemed elusive, but I was determined. "Chemicals? What mechanism triggers the release of my chemicals?"

"Ye gads! The brain. The brain sends messages to all systems in the body. The portion of the brain that controls the chemicals is often called 'the old brain': it is the 'fight-flight' mechanism that instantaneously (no need for conscious command) sends chemicals so the system can 'fight or flee.' "So what has that got to do with allergies?" I asked myself. "Allergies, allergies, allergy attack, allergy attack