As I promised, today we will analyze the letter from Kevin. He had an unhappy meeting and he wants us to analyze where he made a mistake. Here is his letter:
Hello Slava:
Well, unfortunately my second meeting with Tanya did not go very well. I think she might have had second thoughts about coming to America when she knew the decision time was near.
As you may remember, I met Tanya in June in Kiev and we had a nice 4 days together. I even traveled to Vinnitysa to meet her Aunt and Uncle and see where she lived. This was after we corresponded and talked for 2-3 months. I made a decision not to have sex with here on this trip, even though she sort of tested me on this while we were together in my room. Unfortunately, I found out our trip last week to Malta that she was upset that I did not want sex with her during our first meeting in June. I was trying to be a gentlemen and not a pushy American, and now I find out 3 months later that I was a fool. She also thought that she was too old for me sometimes, and that I was too thin for her? I'm 36 and she is 29, so I thought our age difference was good. I tried to reassure her, but she always seemed skeptical for some reason. I had the opportunity to meet other women from the site, but I did not. I told her this. That I wanted to only get to know her.
When I first met her in Kiev, she said that if I wanted too see another woman on that trip that it was Ok with her. I told her that I had traveled to Kiev to see only her, and that if we did not have a good connection that I would go home. She didn't bring it up after that. I wasn't sure if she had a confidence problem or was just not very interested in me. But the rest of the trip went OK.
We started planning our second meeting soon after I arrived home from the Ukraine in June. We spoke at least 3 times a week on the phone from then until our trip to Malta this past week. I tied to get her to come to the USA for a visit, but she did not want to go through the visitor visa interview process at the USA embassy in Kiev. She was afraid of it. We discussed her coming here to the USA, and I was very detailed in describing life in America to her. I made sure to be realistic about it. That she would have to learn to drive a car, etc. Of course, I was ready and willing to make all these things happen for her. I told her that Americans do work most of the time; it's not a place where people have a lot of idle time. She seemed ready and willing to come here. She wanted to have a child with me and not work, which was fine with me.
But Tanya always had this negative attitude of actually being able to come to America. She said it would take forever, if at all. I reassured her that I would do whatever was necessary to being her here as soon as possible with a Fiance Visa, hopefully within 6 months. For our Malta trip, I did have to contact the Maltese Embassy in Washington DC a few times to get her Maltese Visa approved. A single woman from the Ukraine has a hard time getting a visitor visa to go anywhere, I have found out.
I'm wondering, do you think she may have changed her mind with respect to leaving her home in the Ukraine for America? Does this happen often? From what I found out, the economic situation in the Ukraine is worse than in Russia, so I just can't understand why she would throw away this opportunity. She has only 1 brother, and she told me she was not that close to her family. I'm a good-looking guy and I've never been married, and I don't have any children. I wasted $4000 on this trip to Malta, but I know I will not do this again. If I travel to the former USSR again to meet a woman, I will not propose meeting in a fun place like Malta, if the woman is not ready to visit the USA.
Tanya spoke good English and was of course pretty, but she did have this habit of always putting on her make-up and clothes just right to be perfect. She would re-do her make-up numerous times a day. We call this type of women high maintenance here in the USA. I also dress well and keep in shape, so I think she was attracted to that.
Unfortunately, Tanya, insulted me more than a few times on the Malta trip, so I left early despite her last minute apologies. She traveled back to Kiev with her travel group SMS, that I had of course paid for. It was almost like she purposely made our Malta meeting bad so that she could stop our relationship. Well, if that was her intent she did a good job of it.
Where do you think I went wrong? Kevin
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Dear Kevin,
Thank you for so long and frank letter. You ask to analyze your situation. Let