HOW MY WIFE CURED ME OF "FLIP-FLOPPING"
Those who knew me when I wore a young parson's suit and tie would willingly attest to the fact that I reigned as the "flip-flop" king, and to be honest, I was rather happy in this position with no desire to resign. Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, "Consistency is the hobgoblin of small minds."
If that is true, I have a more than ample mind.
For some reason, certain persons (and you know who you are) are fanatics when it comes to consistency. I don't want to be guilty of dropping names, heaven knows I've dropped everything else, but one such person, who shall remain nameless, lives in my house.
In my past, I've been an advocate of the advantages of inconsistency and offered my opinion on the subject at irregular intervals.
For an example, I've always believed "variety is the spice of life." What would this world be without such diversity?
I think I have God on my side in this. Look at His creations. The genuine proof, in my mind, that God created the heavens and the earth is in this variety of the species.
God did not just create "a bird." God created hundreds of varieties of birds of every color imaginable, as well as other things.
Whatever God has created, He has done so with an infinite number of variations on the subject. Certainly, God believes in variety.
Another advantage of inconsistency is it keeps friends and family off-guard and guessing. If I would do the same thing over and over, my friends and family would come to a certain level of expectation from me.
What a bore.
However, if I am constantly flip-flopping, nobody knows exactly what I'm going to do next. And for my money (if I had any) I go for the zing of flip-flopping.
I would not say this to just anyone, but, the chief benefit to flip-flopping is less strain on the tiny grey cells. I don't have to remember everything.
Although flip-flopping has many desirable advantages, the biggest disadvantage to my inconsistency is the Mistress of the Parsonage. Some people, as I've mentioned, take a low view of flip-flopping.
Her view, as it turned out, was the lowest. I would soon find out just how low.
Recently I treated the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage to an early morning repast at the Slurp