We've all had that feeling of "being connected". This could be described as "coming from a place of love" or "being in your power". Perhaps it's when we're with a significant other, playing with a child, performing at work, or doing something you're confident at. This isn't necessarily "romantic in-love"....it's just open, warm and giving to others. You're confident and centered in yourself. Unconditional love and acceptance. Isn't this the energy we'd like to live from all the time?? I know I would. So......

Are you coming from Love?

But then, something happens. Somehow we're thrown off-center. Someone rejects, threatens or gets upset with us. We react. We get insecure. We close ourselves off to others, and shut-down. Or maybe we start to judge others, or worse yet "make up stories" about what's going on with another. Perhaps we sense others are judging us, and then don't feel that we're enough - or that our contribution is not going to be received. Maybe we judge or make ourselves wrong. Maybe we become overwhelmed by others, or uncomfortable with the level of intimacy that is brewing. Someone wants something, we're not sure we're able or wanting to give. Maybe we get attached to an outcome, and then don't believe we can get what we want - or fear we won't do something perfectly. Lots of things can shut us down.

What takes YOU out of Love?

Physically, that space around our hearts tightens up and if we're really paying attention we can feel ourselves shutting down. The energy shifts from our hearts to our protective and defensive heads - seeking separation.

Coming back to Love...

1. Awareness - This is the first step. Notice...are you coming from love? Are you open? Are you closed? Is the conversation in your head about connecting or separation? Is there compassion or judgment? Is there love or fear? What's going on?

2. Get Curious - What created the separation or closing down? Are you making up a story about the person judging you, being a victim, or manipulating you? Did you get insecure? What's the root cause?

3. What do you want? - Would you rather come from love, or stay separate and disconnected? Your choice. I personally believe that it always serves us and others, when we come from love. But, this is a choice you have to make for yourself. The desire to "open yourself to love" again takes willingness first.

4. What are YOU WILLING to do? Key words here are YOU...because it's not about what someone else needs to do, to get YOU back to love. It's not their job. It's yours. Second key word is WILLING. "Willingness" holds a higher energy vibration, so even the "willingness" to get back to love allows answers to arise. With intention...results follow.

Are you WILLING to.....???

* Recognize you're making up a story about another, and let it go.

* TRUST yourself - or the other - that you/they can handle anything...a task, intimacy, confrontation, or an emotion.

* KNOW that "all is well". There is nothing to "protect" yourself from.

* If someone isn't acknowledging you the way you'd like, perhaps you can ACKNOWLEDGE YOURSELF - giving yourself the reassurance and validation. You are your own most reliable Source.

* Be willing for something to NOT BE PERFECT.

* Speak your truth - truth often moves energy, and allows us to open back up.

* Apologize to the other person for shutting down or making up a story about what they are going through.

* Let go of the attachment to the outcome. Breathe.

* Love Yourself - I know this can sound corny, but this is the MOST IMPORTANT KEY of all. When we all filled up with LOVE, we don't need anything from the outside world. We don't need others to agree with us, believe in us, or change for us. We are more resourceful, compassionate and understanding. Our minds become clearer, and we have more to give.

"When we "disconnect" from ourselves, there is "no one home" for others to connect to."

Ultimately,we are the ONLY Source of LOVE. It's only our perception that we get it from others. How many times has a loved one told you, "I LOVE you"...yet, you weren't FEELING it? You didn't ALLOW yourself to feel it for whatever reason. Give yourself the gift of LOVE. BE THE SOURCE OF LOVE.

SOULFUL CHALLENGE #1: Notice how open and "connected" you are throughout the day and week. Are you coming from love? What takes you out of LOVE? Discovering these answers for yourself is key.

SOULFUL CHALLENGE #2: When you notice that you're not coming from love, and have identified what caused the "disconnect"....ask yourself, "What am I willing to do?"

Mary Allen, Master Certified Coach, has earned a reputation as a results oriented coach, trainer and speaker. She is the author of "The Power of Inner Choice: 12 Weeks to Living a Life YOU Love". For tips, strategies, ideas and reminders for creating a more fulfilling life, sign up for Mary's email newsletter, SoulFULLY Living at http://www.powerofinnerchoice.com.