Have you ever noticed what the harvest is from a bitter argument people or groups with contradicting views may have? Who's the first prize winner?

The one that supposedly wins becomes a short-term superior argument champion. The one who's lost becomes momentarily an underdog in the situation. One way or another, a disharmony is formed.

Besides disharmony, the feelings of stress, some anxiety and mild panic of the egos have stepped up their ill effects on the health of all parties involved.

The cascading wildfire stress response of the body systems encounters yet another "item" to deal with in a day.

Let's have a look at a few simple ways of taming the heat of such moments and turning them into more productive, less anxious ones.

Step One:
Learn how to control your ego and temper by welcoming an opposing opinion. Use that opinion to your advantage by discovering yet another angle of looking at "the problem".

Step Two:
Give the benefit of the doubt to your "opponent". By doing so, it will immediately and markedly decrease the inner emotional turbulence on both sides of the table. The flow of events is bound to become more orderly. Remember this during any argument: BOTH parties have been previously wrong one time or another.

Step Three:
Let them talk themselves out. By listening more (practice), you will notice that you have more to say with fewer words. The time you give yourself by listening allows you:
1. To be more tactful (better choice of words),
2. To be sincere
3. To find a common ground
Listen and observe quietly to get clues you need for the next productive step.

Step Four:
When it's time for it - delay no longer to set matters straight. A humble apology for your mistake brings out the very core of what we all are - gentle students of life at all times (no matter where).

There you have it! Stress relief tips and self help that work for you when you play with them. Can you form such a positive habit to benefit from in many ways wherever you go? You bet!

Lu Smith co-authored a unique book.