One of the wonders of being in a long term relationship that celebrates "the magic of differences" is that you can divvy up the daily chores, errands and family support requirements along the lines of one another's strengths and weaknesses, preferences and distastes.

One of the ongoing challenges of country living is the BUGS! Big moths, black wasps, tiny "no see ums"and all manner of flies and critters figure out how to get inside our house. With a night light in our bathroom drawing them all in there after we turn out the lights, every morning the bathroom sink, floor and window sill have turned into the bug funeral parlor.

Judith finds them obnoxious alive or dead! Jim doesn't mind them most of the time and does most of the clean up in bathroom. He actually enjoys saving the live ones with his hands or he uses an empty plastic juice jug and a piece of cardboard to trap the wasps until safe delivery out of the house. So, now Judith just calls out for the "Bug Patrol!" and knows Jim will come rescue her.

Respecting our differences allows Judith to feel taken care of by Jim and Jim gets to be the Bug Patrol General!

In the old way of thinking about differences, we'd both be making each other wrong. Jim wouldn't hesitate to make fun of Judith for being so "prissy and girlie" and "overly sensitive." Judith would condemn Jim for being "macho" and "tough" and ignoring his "real feelings" of disgust. Each of us would feel righteous and correct