Nearly every November and December family magazine seems to have something to say about "holiday stress."

Pile holiday stress on top of cancer stress, and the burden can become staggering.

Perhaps we wonder if this will be our last holiday season with those we love. Maybe we got our diagnosis during the holidays and wonder if, from now on, the season will bring back nightmarish memories.

Some will ride through the holidays on the emotional roller-coaster of surgery, radiation, or chemo. We may yearn for the holiday seasons of the past, before cancer entered the picture.

How to cope? There's no one right answer.

Perhaps the best we can do is to seek the spiritual equivalent of a candle to light the way.

The fragile, yet oh-so-precious light of candles has deep spiritual significance at this time of year.

Jewish families light a menorah in memory of an ancient light that burned miraculously, against all odds. Christians light candles to celebrate, not the end of darkness, but faith that "the light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it" (John 1:5).

The act of lighting a candle contains within it an honest recognition of the dark. So, there's room for both celebration and lament.

And if all we can see is the dark?

Some of us will reach out to others who can surround us with their faith, love, courage and hope. Others will reach inward, into their own spirit, or upward toward a higher power.

Whatever our path, with faith in the light we can move forward.

(c) Norma Schmidt, LLC

Norma Schmidt, M.A., M.Div., is a former Lutheran minister with experience as a pastor and cancer center chaplain. Her writing as appeared in "Coping with Cancer" magazine. She is a former co-host of the "Inspired Survivor" Internet radio show for people with cancer and their families. Her free 6-week e-course, "Tapping the Power Within: Spiritual Tools for Living with Cancer," is available at http://www.MyCancerSupportCoach.com