If a man wants you, he will come and get you. If he does not, he is either not interested, or too scared to approach you. You don't want a man who is not interested in you, and you don't want one who is a coward.

When women become the aggressor they disrupt the natural courtship dynamic and usurp the man's role as Pursuer, denying him the pleasure of the hunt and the glory of the kill -- like a fish that jumped into an angler's boat, with no effort on his part. How can he feel proud of that?

More important, she will never truly know if he wanted her in the first place, or if he is only with her because she made it so easy and convenient for him. "Did he really want me?" is a question that will burn eternally.

Some men claim that they wouldn't mind a woman approaching them or being more assertive. While everyone is flattered by being pursued, on a subconscious level he will realize that her pursuit denies him the chance to prove himself, and suggests she lacks confidence in his ability to do it on his own. No woman wants a man who harbors that type of resentment.

It's perfectly acceptable, and appreciated, to strike up conversation or flirt outrageously, but never, EVER ask him out. That's his job. You will almost always end up disappointed if you do.

Eric Silver is the Publisher of OutsidersDC, a newly created web-based magazine with a focus on people and organizations that "get the job done" without regard for political or social affiliation, and written from the perspective of persons new to the Washington area, not part of any political circles, and whose thinking is outside common norms.
es@OutsidersDC.com
http://www.OutsidersDC.com