Politically Correct Christmas Carols and Holiday Songs

Christmas Carols and Holiday Songs tend to exclude, marginalize and insult. Henceforth these songs will be re-written with new titles to avoid any real, imagined or perceived offense.

The word Christmas is exclusive to Christians and must be removed. Since it cannot be replaced with the word "holiday" (Holy Day) we will replace it with the innocuous phrase, "day off."

"We Wish You a Merry Christmas"

"We Wish You a Merry Non-Religious-Specific Day-Off in Winter."

Noel is another word for Christmas.

"The First Noel"

"The First Non-Religious-Specific Day-Off in Winter"

Don't you dare exclude the down and out victims of capitalism at this time of the year.

"I'll be Home for Christmas"

"I'll be Home or in a Homeless Shelter for the Non-Religious-Specific Day- Off in Winter"

And let's not let any covert references to race cloud your celebration (if you do chose to celebrate).

"I'm Dreaming of a White Christmas"

"I'm Dreaming of a Race Immaterial Non-Religious- Specific Day-Off in Winter"

The physically impaired must not be excluded.

"I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day"

"I Sensed the Bells on the Non-Religious-Specific Day-Off in Winter"

If physical disabilities are referred to in other songs, than they must also be performed in sign language, and made available in Braille.

"Do You Hear What I Hear"

"Do You Sense What I Sense"

Angels are spiritual beings, not everybody believes in the spirit life.

"Angels We Have Heard on High"

"Guiding Influences We Have Sensed on High"

Since the mute cannot sing, we shall substitute the term communicate.

"Hark! The Herald Angels Sing"

"Sense! The Herald Guiding Influences Communicate"

The word "holy" has religious connotations. We do not want to offend the secular.

"Silent Night, Holy Night"

"Silent Night, Devout Night"


"Oh Holy Night"

"Oh Devout Night"

The secular might also lack faith.

"Oh Come All Ye Faithful"

"Oh Come all Ye of Extreme Loyalty to Non-Material Evidence"

A person shall not feel excluded based on where they live