How to cure the holiday blues...

If you are feeling sorry for yourself because everyone has a significant other and you don't, or because they have family events scheduled and you don't, here's a plan to perk you up: pick up the telephone and call some old high school friends, just to say hello. They will be thrilled that you thought of them during the holidays and you will feel appreciated and connected.

How to use the holidays as an excuse to contact a lost love...

Have you always thought about contacting a "special someone," but were afraid to? Send a simple holiday card, and write inside "Thinking of you this holiday season and wondering how you are doing. I'd enjoy hearing from you if you get a moment." Include your contact information. If your old flame calls or sends an email, there you go! If you get no response, it was only a generic card so you won't feel foolish about the contact. And your lost love may surprise you and write later.

How to greet guests you haven't seen in a long time...

Break the ice before you get together. Send a cute card: "Looking forward to seeing you again!" That will make them feel special, so by the time they arrive, it will feel like you were together just yesterday.

How to heal an old rift...

Is there someone you were once close to (a former friend, ex-spouse, coworker, estranged relative)? The holidays are a great time to heal old hurts. Send some home-baked cookies, or a small box of candy, with a simply note that says, "It's been a long time. Let's put the past behind us. Happy holidays."

Nancy Kalish, Ph.D. is a psychology professor at California State University, Sacramento, where she teaches courses on lifespan development. In addition to her popular book, Lost & Found Lovers, Dr. Kalish has had numerous articles published in newspapers and journals. She also does consultations (but not therapy) by phone for people with lost love issues. Dr. Kalish is the international expert on rekindled romances, lost loves, and first love. She has discussed her findings on lost love on Oprah, 20/20, NPR, CNN, Montel, Maury, and Dear Abby devoted two columns to Dr. Kalish's research. Modern Maturity/AARP, Redbook The Chicago Tribune, Parade, Associated Press, The New York Times, and USA Today are among the print media that have published articles on her work. She maintains an active website at http://www.LostLovers.com.