Introduction

One of the developmental tasks of all adolescents is to establish productive relationships with their peer group and to understand and manage their sexuality. Dating provides fertile training ground for these teens for learning about themselves and how to establish and maintain healthy intimate relationships as they continue to mature and grow. Due to growing up in a homophobic society, most gay men as teenagers had to keep their sexualities hidden for fear of social backlash and further damage to their already shaky self-images. Some boys chose to distance themselves completely from dating, while others chose to date their female peers to more easily "fit in" and be accepted. For some, there was no other choice for them but to date girls, while for others it was an attempt to extinguish their feelings they had for males. Very few gay men had the luxury of being able to openly date other gay males as teenagers and to live authentically. Fortunately, today's generation of gay youth are experiencing slightly more liberal attitudes and acceptance from their peer group about being gay, but there's still a long way to go. As a result, many gay men as adults remain perplexed and confused about how to date other men. Without training, education, and support, many gay men are forced to "wing it" as they mingle and mate with other men, leaving many of them unsatisfied with their dating experiences and wondering if they'll ever find a loving partner to settle down with.

What follows is a tips list of things for gay men to keep in mind as they go about meeting other men in pursuit of their Mr. Right. Add your own to the list and keep it handy as a quick-reference guide as you embark upon your dating adventures to promote greater success in your romantic life.

Dating Success Tips

1. Live your life to the max! Creating a full life puts you in charge of your own happiness and puts less emphasis and dependency on finding a relationship to make you whole. You must be whole as a person first before a healthy relationship can be cultivated. By developing yourself, those internal feelings of zest and fulfillment will show on the outside as well. Very attractive indeed!

2. Know who you are, what your needs and values are, and what you stand for. This will take you far as you delve through the dating world. Having a clear vision and purpose will help to keep you centered and grounded on your quest.

3. Examine your relationship history and determine what behaviors worked for you and which ones didn