Forget the Marriage Amendment, President Bush. Forget the Torture Amendment, Senator McCain. Forget Campaign Reform Legislation, Congress. Forget overturning Roe vs. Wade, Pat Robertson. Forget all that stuff. Scrap it. We need to come together and focus on one thing and one thing only: passing an amendment to the Constitution making the Alternating Traffic Merge the law of the land. The time is now before this menace to our liberty dents another fender.

In my mind no one is more despicable, more contemptible, or more dastardly than a motorist who refuses to alternate when two lanes merge to one. They are worse than the Line-Cutter-Inners. They are lower than those two-bit, make-money-with-tiny-ads dirt bags. Why, they are so bad that they are directly responsible for holding up the Rapture. Can you imagine the merge issues at heaven