Self esteem and stress management go hand in hand -- big time. This is especially true when we desperately seek approval from others. The truth is that we can be our own source of approval.

Have you noticed that the stress free people are often the ones with the highest self esteem. They have a quiet self assurance that is independent of external circumstances. They don't need to have other people liking them.

Stress management seems to come naturally as part of their style of living. Self esteem isn't really much of a concern. The strange thing is that many people admire and like them.

As we progress there is less need to control others and outside circumstances. We have a sense of calm and confidence. There is no need to impress anyone. Stress management becomes effortless.

Your own personal stress management / self esteem clinic

This is so simple you won't believe it! And it's so simple that you might need to frequently remind yourself to do it.

Do you really believe that you need to have approval from others? Are you at the mercy of other people? Do you need to be liked?

Well here's a major secret. You can give yourself approval. The beauty of this is that you're in control of the way you feel. And it works very, very well.

A few years ago I met a fellow who deliberately gave himself approval three hours every day. He is one of the most confident, peaceful, and powerful people I've ever met.

This has a cumulative effect. As you use this stress management technique more you keep feeling better. Your self esteem will keep rising and rising.

You can start giving yourself approval by saying words or praise to yourself. Eventually you'll be able to do this just by doing it with feelings. Feel that you're a great person. Feel that you are capable. Feel that you are wonderful.

This is not the same as bragging to others about how great you are. You can do this quietly to yourself. Others will catch on without you offending them.

This can feel so good that you might give yourself approval on a regular basis.

Copyright 2006 by Jim Kitzmiller

Jim Kitzmiller conducts self improvement workshops and retreats. He is the author of a home study stress management class.