1. Approach violence as an issue involving people of all ages and socioeconomic, racial and ethnic backgrounds. View violent people not only as perpetrators or possible offenders, but also, as someone who is also an abused person who is simply repeating what she/he experienced.

2. If a brother, sister, friend, classmate, or teammate is verbally, physically or sexually traumatizing his/her partner --or is disrespectful or abusive to people in general -- don't look the other way. If you feel comfortable doing so, talk to him/her about it. Urge him/her to seek help. Or if you don't know what to do, consult a friend, a parent, a professor or a counselor. Report any suspected child or adult abuse.

2A. THE WORST THING TO DO IS TO LOOK THE OTHER WAY AND REMAIN SILENT.

3. Have the courage to look inward. Question your own attitudes. Avoid being defensive when something you do or say ends up hurting someone else. Work to understand how your own attitudes and actions might inadvertently perpetuate sexism and violence, and work toward changing them.

4. If you suspect someone close to you is being verbally, physically or sexually traumatized, offer to help.

5. If you are emotionally, psychologically, physically, or sexually abusive to anyone, or have been in the past, seek professional help. Aftereffects of abuse does not heal itself. It will eventually manifest on a physical level in the form of physical illness. All physical illness has a connection to emotional trauma.

6. Be an ally to people who are working to end all forms of gender violence. Support the work of centers which aid victims of violence. Attend "Take Back the Night" rallies and other public events. Raise money for community-based rape crisis centers and battered women's shelters. IF you belong to a team, fraternity, sorority or another student group, organize a fundraiser.

7. Recognize and speak out against homophobia and gay-bashing. Discrimination and violence against lesbians and gays are wrong in and of themselves. This abuse also has direct links to sexism (e.g., the sexual orientation of men or women who speak out again sexism is often questioned, a conscious or unconscious strategy intended to silence them. This is a key reason few men or women do so).

8. Attend programs, take courses, watch films, and read articles and books about multicultural masculinities, gender inequality, and the root causes of violence. Educate yourself and others about how larger social forces affect the conflicts between the individual men and women.

9. Don't fund sexism. Refuse to purchase any magazine, rent any video, subscribe to any Web site, or buy any music that portrays peoole in a sexually degrading or abusive manner. Protest sexism in the media.

10. Mentor and teach young boys/girls about how to live life in ways that avoids degrading or abusing others. Volunteer to work with violence prevention programs, including anti-sexism programs. Lead by example.

Dorothy M. Neddermeyer, PhD,author, If I'd Only Known...Sexual Abuse in or out of the Family: A Guide to Prevention is noted for her pioneering work in verbal, physical and sexual abuse prevention and recovery. http://www.gen-assist.com