Some thought I was a mushroom the first time I came around. I wonder what they will think of me when I return this time. Probably a bottle of cheap wine, or Vodka. Depends on which nationality will be asked. In some communities I could be mistaken for a bad epidemic of crack houses.

Too get those starry eyes everyone in the world thinks I will have, as by all those movies depicting me, I would have to do more drugs than appeared in all the Cheech and Chong movies. Or by the compassionate conservative Christian Right, I would have to slay all the sinners and homosexuals, aborters , and liberals who asked questions. They love the Armageddon scenes of war filled with brimstone and fire.

But truthfully Armageddon is a peace summit of sorts. I wonder if the hotel in Megeddo is still holding my reservation? Basically, when I show up, no will notice. They will still be waiting for Jesus the miracle pill.

Well this time I ain't getting nailed to any tree while a bunch of hicks get drunk in lounge chairs thinking they are going to heaven. Just because my arms have nine inches of petal piercing them! Most of the movie going world flocked to the Passion to watch me get the shit kicked out of me, just so they can go back to grazing in the fields thinking I will save their lives. Savior of the Couch Potatoes. No one went to see the Gospel of John narrated by Christopher Plummer that was in the theater at the same time! If they did they would actually have to learn something to save their own lives. Buddha was right, keep all your miracles behind closed doors. No I did not have to listen, So I ended up doing three shows a day at the sands. The sands on the other side of the Golem heights that is. What am I Jesus the miracle Caterer?

Some famous guy said, If you want to boil a frog, raise the temperature slowly. Well I say the only way to get the frog to jump out is to turn the heat all the way up. You know what free will is! It is the one time when some one gives you the option not to drink the poison, you drink it any way. For it is the first time some one gave you the power to exercise your will of dissent. Too long people have been accustomed to control by fear. If their is too much freedom, their is too much fear. So fear is propagated to control fear. Most of the world say praise Jesus, but never read past Moses and pick up with the letters of Peter and Paul.

They should of stuck with the Peppermint Patty.

You know it ain't the first time I was ignored. 2 out of 12 Jewish tribes denied me. At the time of my fathers father, all the smart Jews left for parts unknown. The remaining 2 tribes were ruining the neighborhood. They said Abraham was wrong leaving Iraq and went back. Popular belief was to leave it up to the kings and priests to fight it out amongst themselves. And if the truth be known, only 20% of the 2 tribes disliked me anyway. The ones it was easier to fit a camel through an eye of a needle than themselves through the gates of heaven.

They still expect me to pay for the damage done to those tables. But I go on too much. The real reason all those Gnostic texts got lost in the desert and the mountains, I talk too much. The four gospels you know and love, was a long worked on edited cliff notes version. But the gripe that is really getting to me is, no one does for themselves. Why do you think I high tailed it out of there the first time. Heal me this, miracle me that, a good Jewish boy could get no rest.

But for real, here is the message. Stick to the Beatitudes and call it a day. But remember I am the son of man and you are the son of God. As well as I am the son of God, and you are the son of man. I am the teacher and the way, your job as student is to learn and become a peer and then teach me something. Masters are peers, Doctorates are those who create and ad something new to a science or art. May you all become that.

For in truth the universe is getting a little bit boring, watching re runs of the big bang gets old. So grow up and remember you will never find me in the bottom of a bottle, a mushroom, apathy, fear, president, or an order. Only inside yourselves and in your own actions. At that time I can build a log Cabin and retire into the woods for eternity.

Hey can any one point me out a good Aurburn haired girl who likes archeology that is from a strong emotional family? Hmmm...

Christopher Jon Luke Dowgin is propietor of Docspond Life Coach Services providing Individual Counseling, Group facilitation, and key note addresses that speak to the heart of the mission while delivering the bottom line finacial growth. Helping millions find their bliss and return meaning to success! Guaranteed 20% improvement in your quality of life aftre the first meeting!

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