We live in a time when everyone wants to blame someone or something else for their personal situations. If I'm overweight, it's because the fast-food chain served fattening food. If I'm unemployed or under-employed, it's because of the government or my employer's unfair practices. If I get stopped for speeding, it's because the police have a prejudice against the car I'm driving. Give me a break!
Many people legitimately are victims of circumstances beyond their control. Child abuse is not the child's fault! However, many of the situations that lead people to scream loudly and hire attorneys are just the consequences of poor decisions. They are victims of nothing other than themselves!
Success in life requires personal accountability and responsibility. Immediate gratification often is the first step toward undesirable consequences. Rather than blame the fast food store for your condition, blame yourself--no one forced you to walk in and order two of the largest burgers on the menu. You could have selected a salad or gone somewhere else to eat!
Being responsible means being aware of three things:
1. The Law of Actions and Consequences
There are some predictable consequences associated with many of our actions. If I scream profanities at my boss, I could lose my job. If I ignore the traffic signal, I could be involved in an accident. If I eat two burgers and large fries every day, I will gain weight. These are common sense thought processes.
Some consequences aren't so obvious. For instance, if you agree to lease a new car you probably will be hit with a significant bill due at the end of the lease. If you accept every credit offer that comes in the mail, you will find yourself in serious financial trouble down the road. These types of consequences are the obvious but shrouded consequences that are hidden behind high-powered advertising and fine print.
2. The Value of Doing Right
We seem to overlook this one, but there is an inherent value in doing what's right--even if that means admitting a mistake. In many situations, you might try to cover up a mistake by being less than truthful. As a result, however, your actions only make the problem worse. If you had told the truth in the first place, you could have minimized the collateral damage.
It is hard to find examples of people who are "stand up" people. Politicians can't seem to recognize truth. Many corporate leaders are masters of deception when it comes to dealing with the public. Celebrities seem to live in their own worlds and don't understand what it's like out here in the real world. Doing right has become old-fashioned in a world that shouts, "Do whatever makes you happy!"
3. The Joy of Living On Purpose
Purpose Driven Life points to the fact that each of us has a purpose. Cure for the Common Life tells us that our purpose is to "make a big deal out of God." There is value in discovering your joy apart from selfishness. Through living on purpose, you will discover real joy. You can't discover joy by imitating others. You can't discover joy by compromising your values. You can't discover joy by focusing your energies on the destruction of others.
Living on purpose means letting your determination overpower your circumstances. If your circumstances win, you become a victim; but, if your determination wins, you become a victor!
Stop playing the blame game and live as a victor. It's your choice... think about it!
Dr. Terry Hadaway is an author, motivational speaker, university professor, and conference leader who is recognized as a leading authority on elearning, decision-making, and adult education. For more information visit http://www.thinkingboxmedia.com