The Key to Success

I was recently asked by a client "what is the most important 'key' to success?" Unfortunately, there is no one "key" to success (or most anything else, for that matter). If I had to choose, I'd narrow it down to these few: clarity, congruency, focus and action, probably in that order.

Clarity is the same as self-awareness or insight. It means that you know who you are and what you want at a deeper than surface level. The deeper the clarity, the better. If you truly know yourself, you'll have reasonable expectations of yourself, acceptance of who you are and are not, and knowledge of your own strengths and challenges. You may know who you really are, but not live it. That is where congruency comes in.

Congruency is based on having some level of self- awareness. It is the alignment of who you really are with the way you behave and interact with the world. It can also be called authenticity. If you are truly congruent, it shows up in your career and relationship choices. They will match who you really are, not necessarily who you think you should be or you wish you were. Congruency is where your day to day choices line up with your clarity. Even if you know who you are and you know what you "should" be doing, you may not do it because of the millions of distractions and pressures we face every day. That's where focus comes in.

Focus is paying attention; concentrating on staying in alignment, furthering your clarity and congruency by making conscious choices. It means slowing down your life so that you can focus. Studies have shown that, in fact, humans are unable to do two things at once. If it seems that they do, it is because of the incredibly elastic human brain, able to stop doing one thing and do another in extremely short intervals of time. However, doing this is actually less efficient that doing one thing at a time, because of the additional time your brain takes to switch tasks. So focusing on who you are, what you want and how to get it are very important to your success. However, they are not sufficient without action.

Action is what you do to make things happen. Action builds momentum and moves you forward. It is one of the ways you express your energy and desires in the world. Action can include anything from thinking, to working, to creating, to resting, well, you get the idea. When you apply clarity, congruency and focus to action, I call it "informed action". Your actions are informed by who you are, what you want, your purpose or place in the world, what you think and feel, how you express yourself, what you concentrate on, etc.

When these four ingredients are all in play, you can't help but be successful. Understanding and knowing yourself, living consciously according to that knowledge, focusing on what really matters to you, and taking deliberate action will propel you forward to achieve more than you ever thought possible. And a wonderful by-product of all this is you will be happier.

Coaching Comments: If success and happiness are your goals, choose one of the key areas above to think about. How does the key concept apply in your life? For example, how congruent is your life with who you really are? Can you identify areas that are out of alignment? Areas that don't seem to match the real you? Does your career or work mirror your life's purpose(s) or sense of self? Does it give you energy or drain you? What do your relationships say about you and your life? Would you choose the same relationships if you had it to do all over again? Going through this "thinking" process adds to your self-awareness. And answering honestly may lead you to better congruency and actions.

All rights reserved. Copyrighted by Life Unfolds, Mary Anne Fields, 2005.

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Mary Anne Fields
"I help mid-lifers make major transitions, discover and create the life of their dreams, and simplify their lives." http://www.lifeunfolds.com