There is much literature on how to parent challenging children these days. Unfortunately, much of that literature does not typically address the child with special parenting needs and a special parenting understanding. A child that has been diagnosed with reactive attachment disorder, oppositional defiant disorder, or even depression, requires an understanding not of the behavior itself, but rather of the underlying dynamics driving the behavior. Take for example the analogy of an iceberg. Typically when we refer to an iceberg, we are referring to what we see above the surface. However, 90% of every iceberg is invisible, lying under the surface. What you consider to be an iceberg is really only the tip. It