Part of the beauty and the frustration of any partnership is the difference. The different ways your partner and you:

-View the world

-Make decisions

-Respond to stress

-Start a project

-Squeeze the toothpaste.

Most of the time we see the gifts these differences bring. We appreciate how they complement our work and/or our life. There are times however, when we just wish our partner did it "right", namely our way. It's natural to feel like this periodically and there is no great harm in it. After fussing and feuding, giving and taking we get it squared away and move on.

However, if this feeling [to change and control] gets to be the norm then the relationship is headed for trouble. A vicious cycle of attempted control ensues that leads to nothing but frustration and eventual relationship breakdown.

Here are a few do's and don'ts...

- DO pay attention to what's going on with you [are you feeling out of sorts, i.e. stressed, over looked, stepped on, tired, ill, etc.]

- DO revisit how this difference that is now frustrating you was an asset to your relationship in the past

- DO stop and think why this difference is causing you a problem right now [ask yourself, "What has changed for me?"]

- DON'T immediately see your partner's approach as negative [unless it is blatantly abusive or destructive]

- DON'T jump in and try to control your partner's feelings or actions in public [if it is critical that your partner makes changes discuss it in private]

- DO layout a plan of approach that has both your best interests at heart

Remember, many relationship adjustments begin with ME not THEE.

Most are best worked out together via open and honest dialogue.

[Please note: This course of action outlined here does NOT apply to abusive or destructive relationships - both life and business]

Life is too short for strife - resolve it and ENJOY!

Margrit Harris, Your Relationship Expert, provides Helpful Answers to Tough Relationship Questions for life and business. Business clients include Wachovia Securities, Morgan Stanley and a variety of small business executives. While life clients range from college students to seasoned professionals. Author of StrataTips, practical weekly free Relationship Advice, and the practical self-help ebook Can [I Make] My Partner Change?. Visit StrataTeam's estore today.