My senior year of college I went to Chicago to audition for grad school acting programs. I fell in love with Chi town at first sight. The people seemed to smile more and the sun shone brighter. Part of the allure was that I was excited for all the offers I knew I would get. I would just be eaten up with a spoon I knew it. New York conversely would eat me up and spit me out, I looked like a country cousin walking with my head up and backpack on my back like I had never seen a skyscraper before.

In Chicago on the other hand there might as well have been rose petals at my feet when I got off the plane. The windy city would be my salvation. I would get into a great school with full scholarship and stipend, play the romantic lead (on and off stage) for every show I am in, and then either Ed or Matt (Norton and Damon respectively) would sweep me off my feet, we would marry and star in my indie films together. I was practicing my Oscar acceptance speech on the elevated train when I saw an ad for an HMO, placed at a busy intersection. It read,