Many therapists call the problem some individuals have saying no to others a "boundary issue" problem. In other words the individual has a problem protecting their own space and their energy resources.

Such individuals tend to quietly accept whatever is doled out them whether they like it or not. Some have become so used to living this way that if asked whether they really wanted what was being asked of them they probably would feel so disconnected from their own feelings about it they likely wouldn't be able to tell you.

This problem has its roots in early childhood when there is a repeated violation and disregard for the needs and desires of that child. The child's heart, where their awareness of their desires lives become shrunken and sometimes completely shut down.

What replaces it is a sense of fear; in particular the fear of not surviving if he/she doesn't do whatever is expected of them by the adults around.

This scenario is clearly abusive towards the child even though no outright physical abuse need be present in the adult-child interactions.

When an individual is faced with such a problem they often appear to others like a person who is supposedly easy going, willing to please, and self effacing, lacks self esteem and self worth. Often the image of a martyr comes to mind.

Such a role, as I said, can become so fully entrenched in the person's way of relating to the world that they think they benefit from it in some way. Usually it's only to avoid experiencing perceived repercussions that are projected onto others in their lives and which most often are not real.

There is often a great energy drain that such individuals experience within their own bodies because they have to hold back a great deal of anger and sadness at having essentially given up all of their power to others.

This drain can manifest at some point as a physical illness. Cancer comes to mind as one possible outcome of a chronic form of such a stance towards life.

If a person is aware however of some degree of frustration with their situation and is willing to find a new way of being this can be accomplished through a new modality that helps them to unearth the deeper feelings in a powerful and effective manner that can essentially transform their lives and their relationships.

It is my view that such a journey can literally save a person