I have just come back from completing some one on one coaching sessions with some managers of a high street financial institution and many of them found it difficult to give feedback to others in a constructive manner.

Usually, they would either say nothing at all and just bottle up all of the frustrations and feelings they had inside.

Sometimes, what they would say would come out all wrong and then they would be labelled as aggressive!

Then there were others who would give the feedback in a very aplogetic nature and in the end backdown and dillute how they were feeling!

So, say someone has done something that you are not happy with. How do you tell them?

Well, I recommend that you use the EXAMPLE, EFFECT, CHANGE method.

Here's how it works:

SCENARIO 1

Example WHEN YOU DON'T ARRIVE AT MY MEETINGS ON TIME...

Effect IT REALLY DOES UPSET MY BUSY SCHEDULE FOR THE ENTIRE DAY...

Change IN FUTURE COULD WE AGREE THAT WE START PUNCTUALLY?

SCENARIO 2

Example WHEN YOU DON'T LOOK AT ME WHEN I'M EXPLAINING SOMETHING TO YOU...

Effect IT MAKES ME FEEL AS IF YOU ARE NOT LISTENING TO ME...

Change IN FUTURE COULD YOU TRY TO LOOK AT ME WHEN I'M TALKING TO YOU?

SCENARIO 3

Example WHEN YOU STOP ME FROM TALKING BY INTERRUPTING WHAT I AM SAYING...

Effect IT MAKES ME FEEL AS IF YOU DO NOT VALUE MY CONTRIBUTION...

Change IN FUTURE COULD YOU PLEASE LET ME FINISH WITHOUT INTERRUPTING ME?

Can you see how you could use that at work?

Think about the common occurances where that technique would come in handy and use it!

Sean McPheat is the Managing Director of MTD Training, a leading UK management training company. Sean is regarded as one of the leading authorities in leadership development has been featured on CNN, ITV, BBC and Arena magazine to name but a few. Please feel free to download MTD's FREE Management Skills Course at http://www.management-training-development.com/freeecourse.htm For further details on MTD's range of management training courses and programmes visit http://www.management-training-development.com.