Being a good parent is really an extension of being a good person, a healthy person. Parenting can bring out the best and the worst in us. And like marriage, parenting can be difficult and challenging, but the rewards are many fold. Parenting is an awesome responsibility and also holds the potential for intense joy.

When two adults come together with their own individual baggage from childhood, co-parenting can be difficult. Very often, parenting styles conflict and each parent feels they know the "right" way to respond to children. In order to parent effectively, parents must spend a fair amount of time talking about their views when they are alone and away from the children. Some compromises may have to be made in order for parents to present a united front in parenting. Having a structure in place which has been agreed upon in advance can help parents work together and maintain control in the home.

1. Establish the Rules: The co-parents find a time to sit down together and establish the house rules. Use past incidents and problem behaviors of the children to try to address most situations that might arise.

2. Each rule will have a consequence attached. If the rule is not kept, the child can be reminded ONCE using the technique in Item 4 below. If the behavior continues, the consequence will be given without exception. Make the consequence immediate and short. Make the consequence something that will have an impact on the child. Try to make the consequence fit the rule. Please hammer out all disagreements before the family meeting.

3. Call a meeting of the family and present the rules as well as the consequences. Co-parents work as a team and do not disagree with one another, or with the children. Simply present the rules and consequences. Have the rules written out and post them on the refrigerator or another centrally-located place.

4. When the child has misbehaved, stop whatever you are doing and get at eye level with the child. Take the child gently by the shoulders, if needed. Look directly into the child