In my role running a large singles social network I receive many requests for telephone numbers of both men and women. Some members evidently decide that they have nothing to lose by trying me out. They are wrong. Depending on how they ask, they can become branded in my eyes as ethically-challenged opportunists, not to be trusted too far.

I religiously refuse to divulge telephone numbers or any other personal details. However, that has not stopped some determined people who have successfully wheedled from an acquaintance the phone number of someone they wish to pursue. In some instances they have employed clever ruses to seduce a friend into a breach of confidence, such as stating an ostensibly valid alternative reason for wanting the number. In other instances, pressure tactics have been used to bully a victim into compliance. However it is done, it is unacceptable behavior.

On one occasion, a male network member telephoned a woman to request a date, claiming he had obtained her phone number from me. That was a gross lie, but one easily believed by a woman who was fuming at the time. Fortunately, she trusted me far enough to accept my denial. She also found out through investigation who it actually was who had breached her confidence and given out her number.

It hardly creates an impression in a woman's mind of a man who is responsible and reliable if he uses deceit to obtain her phone number or fails to recognize her right to privacy. Many women will even reject a request for a date that would otherwise be welcome if the man has used unfair tactics to gain access to her.

There is only one person from whom it is acceptable to obtain a woman's telephone number. That is from the woman herself, or with her expressed permission. If she is not willing to give it upon request, then she does not wish to be called for a date. The fact that it is possible to retrieve it from a third party doesn't justify doing so.

Gareth Eastwood created and manages Going Places With Gareth, a gigantic singles social network in Adelaide, South Australia revolving around a long-established website http://www.garethevents.info/ Since the network commenced in May 2000, around 5000 people have become involved. He also maintains an article based web site - http://www.talesofourlives.com/ for stories and articles related to his experiences.