I believe any educated and sensitive massage therapist will tell you that they tend to meet people who are more authentic in expressing themselves than perhaps one would just meet in an office setting. Even the same person is more authentic and gentle in a safe touch massage setting. Minimal clothing, lulling fountain sounds, the scent of lavendar, orange, sandalwood or other essential oils and music that doesn't destroy your soul just seems to do that. Everyone needs safe touch to be comforted and to feel free to be themselves without judgement.

From my own experience, we live in a touch deprived culture. Touch someone in the workplace, even as an encouraging "good for you" pat on the back, and you might find yourself judged some kind of office pervert. Rub a back in gesture of comforting or hold a hand to say "I care about how you're feeling," and well, off to prison you go!! Touch in our culture is suspect and often threatening. I'm not encouraging anyone to just accept the touch of anyone they meet as well intentioned or harmless. But for the most part, out went the baby with the bathwater as usual.

I used to lay hands on people as a pastor in compliance with and hope that James 5:14-16 would bring about the desired and promised results. "Is any one of you sick? He should call the elders of the church to pray over him and anoint him with oil in the name of the Lord. 15 And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise him up. If he has sinned, he will be forgiven. 16 Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective."

I did this thousands of times and respectfully observe that it is not the cure for anything significant, from my perspective. I am sure however, that at times and because of the reaction of some, the touch itself was deeply appreciated and meaningful. A church or pastor that relies ONLY on this because "it's in the Bible, God said it, I believe it, that does it for me," is a fool and delaying help a genuinely sick person might need to receive from professionals. I've seen that in my past career and it's difficult to speak of, though I was not of the anoint only perspective.

Kind, intentioned and educated touch seems to release a person from the masks we all wear. Everyone wears masks. It's how we survive dealing with topics that we can not speak of or will receive no understanding for even thinking about. In massage, people become more openly genuine and some want to talk, at times, about what they really are thinking. Some few might wish to vent about the office envirnoment, the company or the boss, but when sharing, most simply talk about touch and why humans are so fearful of their own thoughts and needs.

"Needs", now there is a word for you. Our Christian culture has all but beat the idea that what one needs having any validity out of the needy. Sermon after sermon over decades has made that equal with being selfish and carnal or unconverted and "of the world." Just say "I need" to a pastor and often his own repressions will bubble up and you will receive a lecture on how the Bible tells us this or that mainly along the lines of "doing nothing through faction or through vainglory, but in lowliness of mind each counting other better than himself;" Phil. 2:3 (ASV) I always wondered if we are to count all others better than ourselves and all that implies about our own selfworth, what are others supposed to do?

Everyone needs to be safely touched. One client, long ago, was very quiet as I worked on them and then suddenly said, "don't you think it's funny my dad never hugged me?" We chatted a bit about that but I knew that me, a stranger, touching him set off that thought in contrast to his dad, who knew him well, never hugging him. After a few minutes he said, "I don't think I am gay." That was also a no brainer. Here is how it worked in his mind. "I like this touch." "Dad never hugged me." "Yikes, I like this and this is a guy!" "I better tell him I don't think I'm gay so he doesn't think I am." Interesting huh? To him, touch was needed yet had conotations that weren't really there, but needed to be referenced. I'm not gay by the way either.

One of the things people need to practice more is the phrase "I need." It is not selfish or crass. It is human and is the stuff that makes relationships function at a more real and authentic level. How many relationships would be better or even saved if we learned to say, "I need you not to speak to me that way." "I need you to be around more often." "I need you to touch me in a way that feels caring of ME." "I need you to listen to what I think for a change." "I need you to give me some space." "I need variety in my life." "I need you to take better care of yourself." "I need you to leave the people you don't like, the crazy relatives, the stupid boss and the damn church out of our conversations." "I need..." Try it sometime and you might see that others also need the same. They just didn't know you knew anything about needs.

Others talk about what they don't need in the way of touch in their lives. They don't need to be grabbed, or pushed. They don't need to be slapped or pinched crudely. They don't need to feel used and not loved. I guess this is another whole topic.

The mask that covers topics of sexuality is a biggie for ALL people. All massage is sensual even when therapeutic as touch just is that by nature. In a safe and compassionate envirnoment, many think about the place that sex has or does not have in their lives. Human sexuality and the need to express it and experience it never goes away. I always got a chuckle about how the Bible tells us that when Moses died at 110 (maybe yes, maybe no), and that " that Moses was one hundred and ten years of age when he died