How to tell when it is Tourist Season in Guanajuato, Mexico:

1. While sitting in the park waiting for your wife, you suddenly hear a barrage of English. You look around, only to witness an older couple fighting tooth and nail over where to go for lunch. The wife huffs off to one bench and turns her back on her husband. The husband mealy-mouths off to another bench to wait it out. You sink down low in hopes that none of the Mexicans you have to live with in this city will associate your American Expat face with the Americans who act like spoiled children.

2. You walk past the local pizza chain only to hear a woman reading her man (in English, of course!) the riot act for daring to want some pizza in Mexico. She ate there with him, in fact ate half of a large pizza, and then thought it appropriate to scream at him for taking her someplace so expensive. Though she gorged herself on this American pizza chain