September Tears

September is that ritualized time of year when children of all ages leave home for school. This week, our twenty-two year old daughter left home for what seemed like the zillionth time. This time it was to return to college, and this time she left total chaos in her wake. She had transferred to a new school and her hitherto well-understood leaving and packing process seemed forgotten. It was as if she had never been away before. She experienced periods of anxiety followed by times of elation. According to her, she needed everything new and there were several significant altercations as her stepfather and I pointed out that what she already possessed was perfectly fine. She took an extra job to earn money for what she wanted and she vacillated between pride in her accomplishments and anger that we weren