Most conversions to a particular denomination, sect or cult (don't ask me the difference except one seems smaller than the others), take place between the ages of 10 and 25. I was 14 when my theological sensitivities were awakened and spent the prime years of 18-22 sitting in classes where older men who knew, told me amazing stories of things that have never happened again quite the same way since.

They explain how God simply talked openly with humans and of Snakes that did the same. I learned of a single family that built a huge ship to house all animal life on the planet so the flood, that engulfed the world over the highest mountains (that would be over 22,000 feet), saved the human race from this God's wrath at ever having made the first batch. I learned that ALL languages are the result of this God confusing the tongues of one race who had dared to make a really high tower to the heavens. Hmm, wonder if the flood thing scared them? Soon I learned that a brother, one of 12, got sold and dragged down to Egypt for being a jerk and became an almost Pharaoh. In time, his family grew so large and knew the one true God that they got chased out of Egypt with miracles galore, crossed the Red Sea on dry ground but the real Pharaoh and his entire army didn't do so well, and drown. All of this stuff was skipped in Egyptian history. Too embarrassing I suppose.

As we moved along I met prophets who raised the dead, multiplied food for widows, caused axeheads to float, flew up to heaven in fiery chariots, and tons of cool stuff that has never happened again, far as I can tell. One great leader wanted more time to slaughter the bad guys who were in his way, man woman and child I think is the format, so he caused the sun to stop, or rather the earth to stop rotating to finish the battle in daylight. The only place this is recorded is in the Bible and no one else on the planet seemed to notice this day, but what the heck, it is IN the Bible after all, so it has to be true. Why even donkeys talked when necessary but that was no biggie as the snake had beat them to it. I did hear of a carp that spoke Hebrew recently in a fish market in NY, so it could happen I guess

Well, then I saw how God , who lives not in dwellings made with hands, moved into the Temple of Solomon in Jerusalem and just dared anyone to come into the Holy of Holies and expect to get out alive. Gabillions of animals had their throats cuts and blood must have have gushed from the Temple Mount as this God rejoiced in such things, all in his honor and all to atone for the sins of these bastard children who could never seem to obey very long. Poor animals. I dug around such an altar at Megiddo in Northern Israel for a time and found some of those poor animal bones strewn around the altar. I even found one of the poor sinners who was forgiven with that animal slaughter buried under a floor a few hundred feet away. I wonder where he is now that his sins are forgiven. He was Pagan and the altar was over 5000 years old, so we can't know for sure since he was not one of the true people. The Bible is about the true people and their struggle with the jerks. At least that's what I was told.

Well, I then studied about tons of kings who were either on God's side or not depending. Seems every other one went sour for some reason. There is no indication that they learned anything great enough about God to keep them in line for long. So the next one kills the last one and the last one killed all his kids and the wife got shipped to Siberia. Stuff like that. Sometimes the kids slew, great word, the parents and sometimes the parents knocked off Grandpa. One King, when he found out he was dying,you know, the one that slew, great word, a really huge giant at age 12 or so, told his main man to be sure all those guys who double crossed him in life didn't live to see sunset. Whoa, when Beniah the Heavy fell on ya, you were fallen upon and your guts came out big time. So the King died knowing all was well and Thou Shalt Do No Murder was for the commoners, not him. He went to heaven or somewhere good I think, or at least gets to be King again in the Resurrection of the Just Great. He'll be a great King again as times have not changed much.

Well after this, I learned of babies born of virgins, stars that wandered around pointing out specific homes, Wisemen who saw a star in the east and walked west to follow it, Angels that made people speechless for not going with the program and mom's who fled with their baby knowing everyone else's were going to suffer slewing, great word, at the hands of a nut king who wanted the virgin born baby killed. I always imagined her leaving town singing to her neighbors, after the Angel said