Beaver Alienation Reaches Puberty

"CANADA IS OURS!" read the caption held by one beaver. "We have been used for too long by Canada and we won't stand for it anymore" explained the head patriarch beaver as he worked on his dam.

Beaver Nation alienation has been growing for some time now. Its roots can be found as early as the 1970s when Canada engaged in compassionate social engineering. "For hundreds of years we were an integral part of the Canadian economy. The Coureur de Bois and The Bay became millionaires off our pelts. No more." The Beaver Boat Units are mobilizing and preparing to attack.

Canadian officials remained defiant if not donwright unconcerned. A spokesperson for Defense Canada, Normie-Gordie Burntstrudel "This is Canada. Everybody loves us as we love ourselves. We are a peacecreating, peacekeeping, peacegiving country" When pressed if the Canadian military is prepared in the event of the attack he continued with a confident smile "If we are attacked, which we won't be, we are ready." One reporter asked how exactly are they ready to which Mr. Burntstrudel answered "All of Canada will unite. We've put in a call to the Inuit." When asked if Qu