For most of us, we live our lives under the basic assumption that we will establish a career, meet the "man" or "woman" of our dreams, settle down, and have children. It is one of those unwritten and natural laws of life...or so it may seem.
When we eventually have children, we are shocked and amazed at how the experience, although rewarding, does not fit nicely into that "mental" picture that we once had. We very quickly figure out that they do not come with a "how to" manual, nor do they come with instructions. We also find ourselves cursing our mother's for failing to mention how unrewarding and painful the "miracle" of childbirth can be, and how difficult nursing can be, especially if you were not paying attention during childbirth class.
When I had my first daughter, all of these things were going through my mind, as I was overjoyed and scared all at the same time. Then, after I took her home, I realized how completely unprepared I was to handle this precious and fragile life. I think I woke up to check on her every ten minutes. Eventually though, my mothering instincts kicked-in, and I was maneuvering diaper changing and spit up like a "pro". By the time I had a second and third child... I was considered "expert" in my field, and I was able to move up the corporate ladder in MOM world.
I think if I had to pass on any advice and information to the new mom or mom to be out there, I would have to say this...
1. Being a mom doesn't always come "natural", it takes work and support from others.
2. Don't be afraid to ask for help: enlist friends and family. They will offer, so don't turn them down. There is no rewards for those of us who try to be a superhero. Face the facts... you will need help!
3. Labor and childbirth HURTS! Do not try to be a "martyr" if you need pain medication, ASK for them! There is no shame in trying to live with the pain. Having a baby is a gift from God, but no woman will disagree that it is a PAIN that you will never forget. If you have natural childbirth, my hat goes off to you! That is WONDERFUL.
4. Your OBGYN is your friend. When you go in for six week check up, confide in your OBGYN. If you are depressed, feeling down, tired, anxious, edgy, or any of the above, let them know. There is nothing worse than the "baby blues", and yes ladies it is real and it does exist.
5. Finally, get out of the HOUSE! Go for walks with your new baby, go to the mall, and most importantly join a mother's group or mommy and me group. I joined Gymboree Play and Music with my first daughter, and I met a lot of GREAT moms. We eventually formed a playgroup and have been friends ever since. Moms are your BEST resource for support and parenting information.
Hopefully you will heed some of these words of wisdom, if not that is okay too. Just remember that having a baby is a wonderful experience, and it is one that you will cherish for the rest of your live. But make no mistake, it is not an easy road to travel, and you need to be prepared, do not go into it with "rose" colored glasses.
Robyn A. Johnson http://www.themomscafe.net